Stuff Other People Said and Why I Like It:
This is my life. It is my one time to be me.
Maya Angelou
This is probably one of my favorite quotes of all time. It’s simple, but with big meaning. I’m a no worries kind of gal. I am not a fan of restrictions or conformity. And I don’t mean that in your stupid, rebellious teenager sense. That would be really lame and cliché of me to say. For example, all of the recent hubbub about the future and the rest of our lives and whatnot. I am very interested in psychology and plan on getting my doctorate degree. I would like to work with children and adolescents. I do not want to attend school or live in Owensboro. I do want to get married, but do not want children of my own. And that’s a basic outline of the rest of my life so far.
I’m not going to sit here and say I’m going to this certain college and live in this certain city and get married at this age and have this number of children. I just feel like that would be silly. I’m more of a go with the flow person. Not that I’m not driven and just going to follow my every whim, because that would be silly as well. I am quite excited for the rest of my life and passionate about what I want to do. But my belief is that you’ve just got to let life take you where you’re supposed to go, as long as you know it’s in the right general direction. Experiences change you and your path. If you’ve had your life planned out since day one of freshman year in high school, that’s kind of a problem. Because instead of adapting your path to who you are, you’re conforming to some pre-set life you’re not supposed to live. That’s wrong.
You’re only given one life; you might as well spend it happy. And a happy life is an imperfect life. Perfect isn’t my thing. Why exert yourself aiming for something that doesn’t exist? If everything is perfect, everything is expected. You’re content, always where you want to be. B-O-R-I-N-G. As bizarre as this may be, I kind of like chaos. Not the wild, out of control kind but the surprising, exhilarating kind that allows you everything life has to offer. I want to cry, laugh, and scream. I want to feel anger, uncertainty, fear, and fearlessness. I want to have to fight for what I believe and work for my dreams. I want the unexpected. I want something to look forward to and something to look back on. I want to make mistakes. I want to make my own way, without anyone telling me I can or can’t, should or shouldn’t. I want to know I did what I wanted and what I thought was right, not what anyone else wanted or thought. I want my life to be mine.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be some freakish loner focused on making my life my own. That would totally contradict my whole philosophy. I think that the people in your life make the person you are and therefore the life you live. I am undoubtedly who I am because of everyone I’ve ever known. We are all individuals because we are tiny pieces of each and every person that’s ever passed through or stayed in our lives. And all of those people are made up of every person they’ve ever known. It’s a never ending cycle and it’s incredible. I love every single person in my life. I love every single person I’ve ever lost or just lost touch with. People change. Friends change. It happens. And even if it hurt, even if it was messy, their impact on who I am is still the same.
Monday, March 15, 2010
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