Bret Michaels, Herpes, and the Vatican City

I am not ashamed to admit that I am one of those people that, if you happen to only catch a snippet of any of my conversations, you’re probably not going to know what in the name of all things normal is going on. Here is a window into my most recent ridiculous conversations and discussions, including quotations and things of that nature. Hey! I’ll even put them in list form since I’ve been slacking in my promise to provide those.

My Life in Conversations and Such: Part One (Because These Conversations Are Going To Keep Happening)

1. “Nothing beats a sad Bon Jovi song on a Saturday night.” My sister said this, and a discussion of Bret Michaels ensued. Yes. You heard me. Bret Michaels. Together, our thought processes just aren’t logical. So please don’t bother asking how a discussion of Bret Michaels spurned from a sad Bon Jovi song on Saturday night.

2. “How HIP is HERPES?” Before you let your mind run rampant with this statement, let me explain. A friend of mine was in possession of a STD informational brochure in which alliteration was displayed at its’ finest. And by finest, I mean worst. Other examples: How GREAT is GONNORHEA? How AWESOME is AIDS? Yep. Told you.

3. “If you could glow in the dark, which color would you want to glow?” Argument follows in which nuclear waste green and electric blue are debated. Let’s just say it is REALLY easy to get distracted in Earth and Space.

4. Just imagine two high school students narrating March of the Penguins spur of the moment. As in the documentary on penguin mating habits or whatever. That was mildly entertaining.

5. “So…do you think we would get excommunicated from the Catholic church if we toilet papered the Vatican City with toilet paper printed with the 95 Theses on it?” These are the questions that haunt my mind.

6. A conversation in which the Worst Torture Ever was decided: Administering hundreds of paper cuts all over someone’s body, spraying them down with a hose, and then dropping them into a huge vat of salt. Ah, lunchtime conversation.