Lists

Preface:

I am a huge fan of lists. For almost two years now I’ve been keeping a journal of my life and most of the entries are in list form. It helps to organize my thoughts, which are constantly all over the place. My favorite lists, hands down, are the ones I write for other people though. That’s why I’ve decided to write my blogs in list form from now on, starting today. Enjoy!

I Am Surrounded By Stupid (Simple Concepts No One Seems Able To Grasp)

1. Food goes in the grey trash cans and styrofoam goes in the white trash cans.
Everyday there are kids crowding and hovering over the trash cans in lunch with blank expressions on their faces wondering what to do with their plates, causing my hope to falter in future generations.

2. Walk on the right side of hallways and through the right side of doorways.
Why is this not common knowledge? I know that I am plowed down by people ALL THE TIME because they’re bumbling around on the left side of the hall or rushing through the wrong side of a door.

3. Nobody likes a pack of locker lingerers. People want to hit locker lingerers.
It would be nice if someone could explain to me why massive congregations of people chill in front of lockers that aren’t theirs. Of course, it wouldn’t be so bad if they all didn’t sneer at you when you ask them to move because they’re in front of your locker.

4. There is a difference between expressing yourself and making yourself a public spectacle.
How you dress is your choice and I’m all for self expression and not caring what other people think or like. I feel like there is a line between self expression and public spectacle though and neon colored jeans that are two sizes two small, an etch-a-sketch hanging from your lanyard, and bracelets literally up to your elbow cross that line.

5. Huggin’ it out in the halls is seriously unnecessary.
We’ve all encountered those girls that upon seeing each other across the hall begin to squeal, flail their arms, and barrel their way through everyone to meet in the middle of the hall. Once there, disrupting hallway traffic flow all the while, they commence to huggin’ it out for minutes at a time. “OH MY GOOD GOLLY GOSH, I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU SINCE A WHOLE BLOCK AGO!”